Manifesting & Meltdowns.

 Let's Be Real...

I feel like there is a HUGE blockage in my way. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS but I hope to find out REAL SOON. 

So first of all I've been suffering from Trismus (lockjaw) due to my wisdom teeth growing in UPSIDE DOWN and becoming infected. It has been so difficult and frustrating to eat, it feels like an AWFUL chore. And to add onto that it is extremely difficult to book an appointment to get wisdom teeth removed and if I don't feel like waiting I have to pay the 4,000+ fee. When my mom told my dad the other night he TOTALLY freaked out. Since I'm going to Cancun in August they've already spent a pretty penny on my ticket and resort fee. So I TOTALLY understand but my dad is acting as if I BEGGED to go to Cancun. This was THEIR gift to ME. He gets so angry that my mom and I don't have jobs but does he even understand the circumstances that we CANNOT? Like we have been over that TRILLIONS of times. I also weighed myself on the scale and AGAIN I hit the 200LB mark. WHY? DON'T KNOW. I've been working so hard UGH I am so UPSET. 

So here is what I'm doing instead of freaking out:

1. I walked to Hardees today to fill out a job application. No fear, just did it. (Proud of myself. ☺)

2. These last 2 weeks I have been working extremely hard taking care of myself and in no time I will be hitting my goal of 170LB.

3. I got prescribed antibiotics for my lockjaw so I'll be back to eating solid food in no time.

4. I've got an amazing support group and this blog. 

5. Working on opening a banking account. 

6. I'm hitting 12k steps a day + exercising. (Plus my clothes are fitting looser so I think my fat is turning into muscle)☺☺

7. Rescheduling college classes July 8th.

8. Grandmas Sugar Cupcakery is NOT hiring, and MercyOne has NOT gotten back to me after being rejected for going to college full-time.

I think it is all going to be okay and I always figure everything out. Remember the bad things pass, the good things stay.

QOTD (Quote of the Day): Please love yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

Talk soon, 

Elle B. Are. ♥

LBRdiaries@blogspot.com